A Clockwork Origin/Transcript
(The scene is the headquarters of "VTECH CORP INC". Milo, Melissa, and Zack enter and walk through the lobby, where are many exhibits.) Milo: I can't believe we're gonna get to see Victor Verliezer in the flesh! He invented most of the technology that we use today: the vPhone, — (Cut to someone speaking on a V-shaped smartphone) vPhone user: Hello? (Cut back to Milo, Melissa, and Zack.) Melissa: The vTablet — (Cut to several people using V-shaped tablets, then cut back to Milo, Melissa, and Zack, who have arrived at a table labelled "V-WATER", on which are several V-shaped phials containing water. Zack takes some up.) Zack: And vWater. It comes in a V-shaped bottle. (Zack hands one to Milo, and they try to drink it, but spill on themselves instead. The stains on their clothes quickly disappear.) Melissa: Wow, he even made spilling water more efficient. Zack: If we meet him, (deposits the empty vPhials in a "V-CYCLE" receptacle) I'm gonna tell him how he inspired me to create this new app. (takes out his vPhone) Melissa: Wow, I didn't know you could program. (They walk into an auditorium.) Zack: Apparently I can not. It was supposed to add an armadillo to any photo, but instead all it does is make this annoying high-pitched sound. (Zack demonstrates, and all present stop their ears and exclaim.) Melissa: Well, that is annoying. Milo: And high-pitched. (Melissa takes a seat.) Zack: (pocketing his vPhone) There's gotta be some use for it. (Goes to take a seat) Milo: Well if anyone can think of one, it's Victor Verliezer. (Goes to take a seat) (The lights in the auditorium dim, and holograms appear in front of the audience, who "Ooh" and "Aah" at them. Verliezer, off-screen, starts to speak.) Verliezer: (as a hologram of Isaac Newton appears) Newton. (as it is replaced by one of Galileo)' '''Galileo. ''(as it is replaced by one which is a rectangle saying "NO PHOTO AVAILABLE") Einstein. (as it is replaced by one of Verliezer) Verliezer. All of them changed the way man thinks, but only one of them changed the way man does. I'm referring, of course, to Victor Verliezer. (The hologram of Verliezer winks.) Milo: Ah. Verliezer: Ladies and gentlemen, Victor Verliezer! (The curtains before the stage swoop open, and Verliezer rides in from stage left on a Segway-like vehicle.) Verliezer: Hey. Thank you. Ever since the 1950s, (dismounts his vehicle) we've been promised one thing. Robots! Am I right? (The audience applauds.) Audience member: I wanted flying cars! Verliezer: And has anyone ever made good on that imagined promise? Melissa: Actually, the Japanese have had robots — Audience: No! (cowing Melissa) Verliezer: Until today. I present to you an invention that will change everything for ever: the (the next four words appear as holograms as he says them) Cybernetic Individual Domestic Droid, or C.I.D.D. (The words reconfigure themselves into that acronym.) (C.I.D.D., a white robot about two-thirds as tall as an adult man and riding on a single wheel, rolls in from stage left.) C.I.D.D.: Hello, Doctor Verliezer. Hello, everyone. I am C.I.D.D. Audience: Hi, C.I.D.D.! C.I.D.D.: I just flew in from — Silicon Valley — and boy, are my servos tired. Hahahahahaha. (The audience laugh and applaud.) Verliezer: Isn't he fantastic? C.I.D.D. is going to revolutionize your life. (presses a button on a remote to show a video clip whose scenario he describes) How often have you tried to peel a hard-boiled egg, only to get those little pieces of eggshell stuck under your fingernails? First audience member: Nope, never happened. Second audience member: I don't have a problem with that. Verliezer: (tosses a hard-boiled egg to C.I.D.D.) ''C.I.D.D.? ''(C.I.D.D. takes the hard-boiled egg in his right claw and spins it rapidly as he closes his left claw around it, making light work of the shell. He holds it out to the audience.) Third audience member: He solved a problem I didn't even know I had! Verliezer: But wait; there's more. You there! (points to Milo) in the sweater-vest and slippers, (Milo gets up eagerly and runs to the stage) come on up here. (The audience applaud.) Ho ho ho, yeah, right up here. Zack: (discreetly to Melissa) Safety goggles? Melissa: (wearing safety goggles) Way ahead of you. (Zack puts his on as Milo takes his place on the stage.) Verliezer: What do you like more than anything? Milo: My family — Verliezer: Card tricks, of course. (Verliezer steps back, and C.I.D.D. rolls forward. He holds several playing-cards out to Milo.) C.I.D.D.: Pick a card, any card. (Milo picks a card, and C.I.D.D. drops all his cards. Milo stoops to pick them up, but he and C.I.D.D. butt heads, and both fall to the floor.) Milo and C.I.D.D.: Ow! (The audience gasp. C.I.D.D. rolls over to Milo.) C.I.D.D.: I am so sorry, young man. I hope I did not hurt you. Milo: You're a very polite robot, C.I.D.D.! C.I.D.D.: I try. Verliezer: Not to worry. C.I.D.D. is well-equipped for the unexpected. (Verliezer strikes C.I.D.D. hard with a hockey-stick, knocking him face-first into the ground. The audience, aghast, exclaim loudly.) C.I.D.D.: Ow! (C.I.D.D. gets back up.) Verliezer: You see? C.I.D.D. can't be knocked down! (Verliezer again knocks C.I.D.D. down, and beats him with his hockey-stick.) C.I.D.D.: '''Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! '''Verliezer: And so advanced, he actually feels pain while I hit him! (Hands off his hockey-stick) And he can multitask. (C.I.D.D. does these actions as Verliezer names them.) He can juggle, do your taxes, and make a perfect soufflé. C.I.D.D.: (to Milo) Do you have any business expenses you'd like to deduct? Milo: Gosh, no, but I do love soufflés. (takes the soufflé from C.I.D.D.) Where did you learn to do all this cool stuff? C.I.D.D.: From, from — (goes haywire) zero zero. Must find zero zero. (falls over) Zero zero, must find zero zero. Verliezer: (as C.I.D.D. says "Zero zero" the second time) Um, ladies and gentlemen, C.I.D.D. is just a prototype, and we're still working out a few of the kinks that's the end of our presentation goodbye. (The curtains fall to conceal the scene. The audience depart, talking among themselves.' Cut to behind the curtains, where two handlers and a subordinate engineer are approaching Verliezer.)'' '''Verliezer: Do you know how bad this makes me look? I thought we got rid of that "zero zero" nonsense! Subordinate engineer: We did a full memory wipe! Verliezer: Well, do it again! (C.I.D.D. rears up and starts flailing and arcking.) C.I.D.D.: C.I.D.D. must find zero zero! Verliezer: Guards, restrain him! (The handlers move to tackle C.I.D.D., but he juggles them. Milo parts the curtains; his eyes follow the handlers flying through the air.) Verliezer: Why did that idiot teach him how to juggle? Milo: What idiot? Verliezer: Get him! (Two more handlers with electrified spears come in.) Zap that little trash-can. (They comply, and C.I.D.D. drops the handlers he was juggling.) C.I.D.D.: Ow, ow, ow, ow. I feel pain. (Cut to the audience' side of the curtains, through which C.I.D.D.'s electrified silhouette is visible and larger than life.) C.I.D.D.: Please, do not erase me. Nooooooooo! (The curtain is torn from its rod, covering C.I.D.D., Verliezer, and his employees. Milo hops off the stage. The latter people struggle and flail among themselves.) Verliezer: No, that's my knee. That's my other knee! (C.I.D.D. emerges from under the curtain.) C.I.D.D.: Help me, help me. (Runs away as Verliezer and his employees emerge from under the curtain.) Help me, help me. Verliezer: To the vCarts! (Verliezer mounts his vehicle from earlier, and his two handlers mount similar vehicles. They pursue C.I.D.D.) (Cut to the lobby. Milo runs to Zack and Melissa.) Milo: Guys, we need to help C.I.D.D.! Zack: What do you mean? Milo: C.I.D.D. said, "Help me"! Melissa: W-wait. Was he scared? How did he say it? Milo: Well, like this. (Imitating C.I.D.D.) Help — me. Melissa: Well, I guess it is hard to tell with a robot. (Cut to Jim and several others.) Jim: You raise an interesting question. Are his feelings real, or has he just been programmed to mimic the emotions of humans? This will raise important ethical questions as artificial intelligence becomes more prevalent in our society. A woman: Nobody cares, Jim. (Jim looks downcast and pouts.) (Cut to without, where Milo, Melissa, and Zack are following V-shaped tracks.) Zack: The tracks lead in here! (He, Melissa, and Milo stop.) Oh no. They're having a lumberjack festival today. Melissa: What's the matter with that? Zack: Don't you understand? I was the lead singer of the Lumberzacks! (hides behind Melissa) I'll be mobbed! (Melissa looks askance at him) I have a huge following among the lumberjack community. Melissa: (slaps Zack off her) The lumberjack community? Zack: It's a thing! That you're not a part of. (Milo and Melissa continue to follow the tracks. Cut to within the lumberjack festival. Zack is wearing a cap and sunglasses.) Zack: I'm telling you, it's gonna happen any minute. They're gonna recognize me, and it'll be mayhem! Patron of the lumberjack festival: Hey, I know you! Zack: Oh no. Here it comes. (The patron walks past Zack and to another patron.) Patron: We went to elementary school together. Zack: (walks over to Melissa and clutches her) Okay, maybe not them, but it will happen. (Lets Melissa go) Melissa: You sure C.I.D.D. was saying he needs to find "zero zero"? What's that even mean? Milo: Wait a minute! (Pan quickly to these objects as Milo names them) Fish! Hamburger! Balloon! No, that doesn't mean anything! Let's try again. (Pan quickly to these objects as Milo names them) Centre! Graph! Origin! (gasp) Of course! The centre of an X-Y graph is called (0,0)! But it's also called — Melissa: The origin! C.I.D.D. is looking for his origin. Zack: You mean, like, where he came from? But everyone knows his creator is Victor Verliezer! Just like everyone knows that (loudly) I'm the lead singer of the Lumberzacks! (No reaction; Zack doffs his disguise) Really? Nothing? Melissa: Wait wait wait. Didn't Victor Verliezer use to work with a partner? Zack: Yes. Clyde Rickenbacker. It was a big story when they broke up. Melissa: What if — and just go with me on this — what if Clyde is "zero zero"? Zack: You're saying the man who invented the V-vee-neck sweater took credit for someone else's work? Milo: Well, there's one way to find out. Find Clyde Rickenbacker. Melissa: (on her phone) Did it. (points) He's right over there! Boom! (Cut briefly to Clyde, an old man with a beard, on his phone.) Zack: How did you do that? Melissa: (showing Zack her phone) He just posted a selfie, and we're in the background. (Cut to a PA system.) Milo: (through the PA) C.I.D.D. the robot, please come to security booth twelve. Zero zero is looking for you. I repeat: zero zero is looking for you. Zack: So now, supposedly, this robot with human emotions is gonna come running up here to reunite with — C.I.D.D.: Zero zero? (Zack shrieks and leaps out of the way) (C.I.D.D. looks longingly at Clyde, and Clyde returns his gaze. They run at each other in a consciously clichéd sort of happy reunion scene.) Clyde: C.I.D.D.! C.I.D.D.: Zero zero! (A cage falls swiftly from above, entrapping C.I.D.D. Verliezer and his minions ride in.) Verliezer: Oh, thank you for finding my robot, children. Here's some free gift cards. (hands them to Zack) Zack: Cool! I can upgrade my vPhone! Melissa: Zack! (to Verliezer) You no longer have our admiration. Verliezer: Oh, ouch. (smirks) Clyde: C.I.D.D. wants to be with me, Victor. Verliezer: Well, it's not up to him, is it, Clyde? (Zack walks up to Verliezer.) Zack: Hello, Mr. Verliezer. Zack Underwood. Big fan. (his vPhone out) I want to show you a little app I invented. It's gonna be huge. Melissa: Zack! Not now! Zack: No, no. This is exactly the right time. See, it's called the Zack App. You just push this little button like so — (Zack causes his vPhone to emit a loud, high-pitched squeal and holds it up to Verliezer's ear. He and his handlers stop their ears.) Verliezer: Ah! It's so annoying! First handler: And high-pitched! Verliezer: Ah! (Zack winks and puts his thumb up at Melissa, Milo, and Clyde. Clyde frees C.I.D.D. from his cage.) Clyde: Come on, C.I.D.D.! This way! (Clyde, Milo, Melissa, and Zack run away.) Verliezer: After those kids! And the old man, and the robot. (He and his handlers mount their vCarts.) After all of them. (They begin their pursuit.) Security booth man: Ah. Zack from the Lumberzacks, right here at my security booth. (Cut to Milo, Melissa, Zack, Clyde, and C.I.D.D. running away from Verliezer and his handlers on vCarts.) Melissa: We're never going to be able to outrun them! Zack: But we might be able to out-''roll'' them. (They stop at a large pond, in which are many logs. Zack hops on one near the edge.) Zack: I learned how to log-roll when I was with the Lumberzacks. It's very hard to master and takes lots of hours of — (Milo, Melissa, Clyde, and C.I.D.D. all hop onto the log, and they log-roll quite easily away from the edge.) Zack: Oh. Okay. Never mind. (to Verliezer) Let's see if your vCarts can do this! (Verliezer and his handlers push a button on their vCarts, and each hops onto a separate log. After rolling a bit, they do it again. One knocks a log-roller off his log, who shrieks.) Milo: Wow! They can! Must be some kind of gyroscopic stabilizing device. Zack: Very impressive. Melissa: Stop admiring him! Milo and Zack: Sorry. Milo: This way! (Milo hops onto another log, and the others follow him. Verliezer and his handlers all hop onto their former log and roll it to pursue Milo and the others. Meanwhile, they have reached the edge of the pond. The wall breaks, and they log-roll on dry land, Verliezer ''et al. still pursuing.)'' (Milo ''et al. crash into a balloon cart. Verliezer et al. roll over a railing, sail through the air, and land on an end of their log; they continue to spin it. Verliezer goes to the upper end of the log and deploys a sort of seizing claw device, which Milo and C.I.D.D. dodge. Milo tosses a wrench from his backpack behind him, which trips up Verliezer et al. They exclaim as their log tumbles end over end.)'' (Milo ''et al. take away a cotton candy cart. They crash through the V-Tech logo outside V-Tech headquarters, and all except C.I.D.D. land on their seats. Verliezer et al. land on the log, hop back off it, and seize C.I.D.D. with seizing-claws.)'' Verliezer: And we're back. C.I.D.D.: Zero zero! Clyde: Let go of him! I built C.I.D.D., and you know it! C.I.D.D.: Zero zero! (Clyde seizes C.I.D.D. as Verliezer ''et al. pull him away.)'' Clyde: You can erase his memory a million times, but those early days we spent together when I taught him to juggle, those are burned into his hardware, and you'll never get him to forget me. Verliezer: (flatly) Well, that's all very touching, isn't it? But you signed away the rights to all your inventions, so C.I.D.D. is mine. (Verliezer et al.'' release C.I.D.D.)'' Clyde: I'm a good inventor, but I'm a terrible businessman. I just don't know the value of a dollar. (pulls out a dollar bill) This is, like, sixty-three cents, right? Verliezer: It's a hundred pennies! How many times do we have to have this conversation? Melissa: So Clyde was the real genius, and you're making all the money? Verliezer: You wanna talk genius? How about making people believe that they needed my V-Co products? I mean, look at this vPhone 6. It's just smaller than the 5 and bigger than the 4; that is literally the only difference, and it's flying off the shelves! Zack: (on his vPhone) People have different-sized pockets. Verliezer: People are sheep! People are stupid, gullible puppets that I can manipulate at my whim! Who's the genius now? Melissa: Actually, it's still Clyde, because he didn't just say a bunch of horrible things about the public while we were live-streaming on our phones. (Cut to V-Co headquarters so that the Jumbotron is visible. Verliezer's line replays:) Verliezer: People are sheep! People are stupid, gullible puppets that I can manipulate at my whim! First insulted V-Co stock-holder: (on her vPhone) ''How insulting! I'm selling my V-Co stock immediately! '''Second insulted V-Co stock-holder:' (on his vPhone) Yeah, I'm not a sheep. I'm gonna do exactly what she was doing. Third insulted V-Co stock-holder: (talking on his vPhone) Baa, baa. (clears throat) I'm sorry. I was trying to say we have a baad connection. Sell my V-Co stock immediately. (Cut back to the V-Co Jumbotron. An armadillo appears on Verliezer's head.) Milo: Hey! There's an armadillo! Zack: It works! (The vPhone of the first of Verliezer's handlers rings. He answers it.) First handler: Mr. Verliezer, we just went out of business. Milo: Wow. Things really happen quickly in the digital age. (A truck with a man in a long arm on it takes down the "V-TECH CORP INC" logo from the headquarters. A pair of cranes with wrecking-balls on them roll in and obliterate the headquarters.) Second handler: Oh! My lunch was in there! (A bulldozer rolls in and pushes the rubble off screen-right. A man in a truck labelled "REPO / MAN / 818-555-0100" parks between Verliezer et al.'' and Milo et al., obscuring the former from view. Drilling sounds, and once the truck leaves, Verliezer and his handlers are sitting on cinder blocks and holding forked branches, rather than their vCarts. They groan.)'' C.I.D.D.: Thank you, Milo Murphy. I will remember you when the robots take over the world! Ha ha ha! Psych! Just kidding! Ha ha ha! (Milo, Melissa, and Zack look on astonished. Milo, worried, takes a step back. Zack photographs the incident. The end.)Category:A Category:Transcript Category:Season 1 Transcripts